My Thought Process

– “Light a man a fire, and he’s warm for a day. Light a man on fire, and he’s warm for the rest of his life!”

– “Disciplus omnis scientia, dominu quam plures.”

In the middle of last month. Now most of it has been forgotten. But I have an excuse. I went on vacation. To Cozumel Mexico. It was awesome. It was from 2/23 to 3/2. I did plenty. I drank alot. I made new friends. I had a great time! I’ll post pics. Soon. I promise!

Got my tattoo done. Here’s some of the artist’s other work. http://tinyurl.com/iloveartbyang

Good lord…  Where do I start? I suppose in that place where I point out that I haven’t updated in oh…  24 days because I’ve been so freaking busy. Now, just to keep it all seperate I am going to post like 3 times tonight or something. If I can ever get this post finished out.

Well, I started this post 3 days ago. Just an example of how insane things are right now. So, to start again. This year has been so awesome. I am going to start “This year” just before Christmas, because that’s how I am putting this all together. For xmas I got my passport. How awesome is that? Then around the start of the new year I reconnect with a bunch of people on facebook. 1 week into the new year I go to Chicago for our holiday party. That was..  remarkable. I spent the whole week prior to the Saturday party which gave me an opportunity to meet and spend some time with my Chicago co-workers, who I think are absolutely awesome! I got to hang out with Al Dent. He’s still Al, and picking up right where we left off, I’m very proud to say that he’s still one of my best friends. He’s gonna come up this summer, and hang out. Rick, Al and I hitting the bars. That’s a terrifying prospect. But in a good way. Work has been challenging. But I am trying to stay ahead of the game and I am making progress. Small progress, but progress none-the-less.

It is now 1/31/09 and in 1 week I am getting a tattoo that I have wanted for a VERY VERY long time. This will likely come as a huge shock to my dad. I can’t believe I care at all. Maybe I don’t really care at all. I think it’s more that I dread that “look” that parents give when they disapprove, and I am pretty certain he’s going to be like “WTF”. I think my mom will dig it.

In 3 weeks I leave for Cozumel. Vacation for now, but some day… Some day… *sigh*

There’s probably so much more to write, but this is a good start. I am going to go ahead and publish now before something else gets ahead of me. Tootles.

Don’t remember where I was
I realized life was a game
The more seriously I took things
The harder the rules became
I had no idea what it cost
My life passed before my eyes
I found out how little, I accomplished
All my plans denied

So as you read this know my friends
I’d love to stay with you all
Smile when you think of me
My body’s gone, that’s all

A tout le monde (To everybody)
A tout les amis (To all my friends)
Je vous aime (I love you)
Je dois partir (I must leave)
There are the last words
I’ll ever speak
And they’ll set me free

If my heart, was still alive
I know it would surely break
And my memories left with you
There’s nothing more to say

Moving on, is a simple thing
What it leaves behind is hard
You know the sleeping feel no more pain
And the living are scarred

A tout le monde
A tout les amis
Je vous aime
Je dois partir
There are the last words
I’ll ever speak
And they’ll set me free

So as you read, know my friends
I’d love to stay with you all
Please smile, smile when you think about me
My mind is gone, that’s all

A tout le monde
A tout les amis
Je vous aime
Je dois partir
There are the last words
I’ll ever speak
And they’ll set me free

(repeat)

Possesses us to do stuff like this:

I guess that’s the story of my life. “I hadn’t thought…” But it is what it is. In this case, I hadn’t though that as NYE was closing in, I would feel so much anxiety. I am still without transportation. WAY behind financially compared to where I thought I was, where I wanted to be and where I should be. WAY ahead of where I was though too. 4th quarter 2008 brought about so much. Almost all of it good. Here are some of the things worth noting from 2008:

• I have my C&C Class out of the way. Just another $100 and I get my license to carry. This should have happened a long time ago, but I have always believed that things happen in their own time and at their own pace for their own reasons. The class I took was the best possible. Anything else would not have done.
• I got my passport. This is a MAJOR stepping stone I have been dancing around for YEARS. It just goes to show how close everything is to being done there. Maybe now they will stop jacking around with other privileges of mine as well. Add to that the fact that I think I am less than 2 years away from being free of that (yes, unspoken) obligation. Along with the passport is the suspension of all interest on this particular “account”. You either know what I am talking about, you figured it out on your own, or you’re lost as you should be.
• I reorganized myself. I moved back into Tealwood. I have enjoyed many fires that were intentionally lit in an actual fireplace. Not one of them threatened to burn down my place of residence. I have several domains to insulate my different viewpoints from volatile situations and unnecessary embarrassment. Clearly this is where I record my life’s journal. I have a location to post media content not intended for a quick or temporary link. I have someplace to ramble about politics and my opinions of the U.S. without getting into messy conflicts in my journal. All of this has been the result of my desire to advance my career with my current employer. It’s been a rough and rocky ride, but so far so good.
• Fest was absolutely WONDERFUL this year. Though, I could have gotten an extra night walk or two in, but hey. I’m not complaining. That’s for sure.
• I have been reunited with several people this year. Some that I haven’t talked to in as much as decades.
• I have had more “Gabe” time. This is ALWAYS good. And yet, it feels so bad because “more” Gabe time is still never really enough. No matter how much I get to spend time with him, it will never be the same as having a dad at home for him. Welcome to the 21st Century I guess. Time to suck it up and adapt.
• 2008 was full of both fond and bittersweet moments. Here are a few of my favorites; Reuniting with my cousin. Disc golfing with him. Our several night walks, but one in particular that Jer came along on. Fest. Work Dinner at Manny’s with my co-workers and Amy. The night she spent over here before she went on her weekend trip. My night out with Erin. Karaoke at the bowl. With Jer. And Kathy. And most of my friends. And then Joep and Kazzy showed up, and Gretchen showed up with some of her friends and it turned out that they knew Joep, and blah blah. AWESOME night. Bowling with the group despite my showing up only occassionally. My C&C Class with my dad. Fishing with him and Gabe. The day Spam went to my mom’s with me and we did yard work, and then had cheesecake. That was an awesome day. Camping. Even a bad day camping is better than a good day you are not in the woods. So many things I know I am missing…..
• So far, all of these changes and memories are centered on me. But this bullet point is dedicated to all of my friends whom I care so much for, and who have endured so much this last year. Times have not been easy, and I’ve watched every one of you change more than you ever have before. Just remember that no matter where you feel like you are, you are always ‘home’ as far as I am concerned.
• I am dubbing 2008 “The year of the breath” because that’s what we all had to be reminded of at some point this year. That sometimes life is just about taking that next breath and making it through the next day. For those of you who have enjoyed the benefit of having me there for you, know that you are eternally welcome. For those of you that have not, know that my door is always open. And no matter what this next year brings, do not forget to continue to breath. Sure there are many down moments one could reflect on to mirror all the good. But why invoke the negativity. Let’s just give it it’s name, and move on.

That pretty much closes 2008 out. Which brings us to 2009. 2009 promises, at least for me, to be another “Bullet point year”. At least, the first quarter does. One can only hope that it continues to go well, and perhaps improve. At the moment that I am sitting here writing this, I fully believe that if you have sincere faith in positive changes they will occur. Here is what I am looking at to start my year:

• Kicking 2009 off with my son at my side. I hope with all my heart that friends gather in my home to celebrate with us, but should they find other plans, I send the best of wishes with them. As for me, I want for nothing in the world more than to ring in the new year with my son. Counting down the old. Building on the excitement of the new.
• Not even 1 week into this new year, I get the outstanding opportunity to go to Chicago for a week to spend time with co-workers that I have been wanting to meet. I am meeting up with Mister Allen Dent whom I have not seen in 16+ years. I am (hopefully) meeting up with Tana. Should be an interesting meet. Hopefully I get to meet Chris from efnet.
• Some time in Late Feb / early March I am going to Cozumel. This excites me to no end. Honestly. 2008 totally paved the way for this.
• I made the decision to go back to school. I want to go for psychology. With luck, I can start spring quarter. More realistically, probably not till fall.
• I am planning again on trying out for street out at fest.
• I am planning on keeping my current job. For a long time to come…
• Hopefully in 2009 I’ll find the one thing that’s still missing.

Anyhow… I’ve been at this for over an hour. I think this is a good NYE post, and probably more than complete. At least for now.  Wishing all of you and yours a safe and happy new year!

I still love this:

This is awesome…

And there’s more, if you look…
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